Day 117: Back on track... Ish.

I haven't been able to poop anything substantial, and the hospital won't take a stool sample unless it's "mostly diarrhea", so first thing in the morning I chug a nasty amount of magnesium powder and unleash all hell in the bathroom of the natural foods store.

What a weird part of my life, sitting on the bathroom floor, scooping poop out of my plastic "hat" into little glass vials.

I only have an hour to get my stool to the lab, and it's 20 miles up the way. The timer starts ticking.

If you're from my generation, you're familiar with a video game called "Ocaria of Time". In this game, there's a series of quests to obtain a badass sword, the Big Goron Sword. In order to obtain it, you have to run all around the world in order to fulfill a prescription for eye drops to give to a Big Goron to get him to forge you this sword. Whilst this is happening, a timer is ticking down on your television screen, letting you know how much time you have left before you fail your quest.

But I digress.

I have to get my stool sample (eye drops) to the hospital within the hour so that I can receive a prescription for nasty pharmaceuticals (Big Goron Sword). With that knowledge in mind, I get on the road and stick a thumb out.

First hitch is weird and I try to hide my paper bag of poop samples behind my real pack whilst a man with a severe accent talks right through his blaring radio. I only catch bits and pieces of what he's saying, but I get the feeling he's a total weirdo whilst the radio exclaims "she's a super freak, super freak, she's super freaky".

Second hitch is equally weird and an old man from a sketchy motel offers to take me up the hospital. He's not going that way but he's bored and saw I needed a ride. Hmm. He doesn't let me talk at all but barrages me with questions about my hike, warning me of the perils of bears, and lions, and tigers, and all that other crap that nonhikers think is dangerous.

I barely make it to the hospital in time, but I complete my quest and now I have to hitch back, get on trail and catch up to Cheyanne and Stevie. Bleh.

Hitch back turns out to be from a geologist that is familiar with my grandfather and great grandfather, both semi famous geologists. Life is weird and the world is small.

When I get to the trail, I push myself hard, all the while the serpent that lives in my stomach coils and churns my insides to cottage cheese. Ugh, I can't wait for this to end. Regardless, I catch Stevie and Cheyanne before the end of the day and we camp at a much too full shelter (on account of northbounders, southbounders, and long trailers all converging on one point) with a "beaver problem". Apparently beavers are aggressive, who knew? I sit in my tent, listening hard for the beavers I know are lurking in the dark, waiting to destroy my shelter in an attempt to get to my food... Or maybe even me. Who knows, they might be down to eat humans with those big ol' teeth, but only after they beat me into submission with their huge waffle tails.

It could happen.